Starting Over, Over Again

“… can you see me going mad in here?…”

             Things will seem to go OK, when suddenly they’ll stop,

.            Face in the dirt, there I lay-then poof! I am up top.

.            This brain of mine, this machine, that whirrs inside my head,

.             Makes the bells and whistles ding even when I lay in bed.

.             I need relief, some way, some how, to quiet racing thoughts,

Instead they throw some pills at me to make me who I’m not.

I always knew I would wind up alone,

.             Now that it happened, now that I’ve grown…

.             It’s the worst pain I’ve ever known.

.             Can you see me going mad in here?

.             Can you hear me? Can you, Dear?

.             There’s a slim chance, if you hurry,

.             That all the scary things will scurry,

.             That the sky will clear, the rain will stop-

.             And once again I’ll be on top.

Author: ST Martin

I am an Artist, Poet and Author. A Survivor of Violent Sexual Abuse and Rape, I have lived thru Severe Domestic Violence, Twenty Three years of Addiction and Alcoholism, Family Dysfunction, Chronic Pain, Dependence on Opioids, and 2 Venomous Snake Bites...I have Been Stabbed, Shot at, Tied to a Tree and Choked Unconscious. A Quarter Horse Rolled on Me, as did a Lawn Tractor. I also Wrecked a Harley into a Tree! I also have PTSD and Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, and spent my 18th birthday in a Locked Psychiatric Ward. I am so much more than this: I feel like a tiny seed that sprouted in a desert, and now has grown into a Passion Vine. My Art is my Voice, Screaming, Crying, Praying, Loving, Laughing, Healing- all in Riotous Color...

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