OUT OF THE GUTTER ART
DID you ever feel so immobilized that you wanted to EXPLODE?!? WELL, I DO!! I am so sick of myself, so tired of being tired, so FRUSTRATED at my own inertia that I could scream. I don't think it's "Long Covid" . I think it's " I'm a Super Lazy LOSER!!" (as I look back …
"...maybe all artists...go thru periods of feast followed by famine..."
"Hold on for dear life my friend."
"one project done, the next begun: all clarity-no haze..."
Do something! Say something! Move a muscle, change a thought! All seems to be running smoothly-till it's not, and it's not; right now. How? Every thing seemed peachy-'seemed' being the operative word here. I seem like I'm young and beautiful-but is it truly the case? It 'seems' nice and comfortable outside-until you open the door …
"We chased the sidewinder, ran with roadrunners. Our feet bled walking empty highways...riding empty boxcars..."
"...work that could not have escaped...without the catalyst of discomfort..."
..."let them know they are loved...and it's OK to breath once in a while..."
THE BEHINDER I GET How true, how true that Pennsylvania Dutch saying is. I squander my art endeavors, rushing from this deadline to that, frazzled, befuddled and unsatisfied. That may be what drove Van Gogh insane, the constant turmoil to do better. I am making the presumption that perhaps the rapid cycling Bipolar Disorder that …
'Progress, not perfection.' Who said that? I hate you, whoever you are. Because I...WANT...PERFECTION! The Earth keeps spinning on it's Axis, and my mind keeps spinning like a mouse wheel. A recent medical issue charges my thoughts with negative ions, even with semi-positive news reports... Nothing to see here, folks. Let's keep moving... Relevance...that's the …
"... can you see me going mad in here?..."
...there is a niggling worry, about the big C...CO I mean...VID...
...seems to be less like a monkey...more like a huge Brahma that has lain down, groaning and farting...
I have been languishing here, letting myself fall off the edge of sanity for a while. Is it physical?emotional?spiritual? No, not spiritual, for I feel close to my Creator. I just feel diminished, somehow, like my life's blood has been watered down. Perhaps when the rainy season ends I will blossom again. Till then, my …
Depicting my own image has been a starting point my work from the beginning. As a child my drawings were always of female faces, although I never consciously realized these were reflections of me. Even then, in my earliest work, the duality of my nature is blatantly apparent. . The faces I drew were always …
SUSAN TODD MARTIN 
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