Busting Out All Over/Head Banging

DID you ever feel so immobilized that you wanted to EXPLODE?!? WELL, I DO!! I am so sick of myself, so tired of being tired, so FRUSTRATED at my own inertia that I could scream. I don’t think it’s “Long Covid” . I think it’s ” I’m a Super Lazy LOSER!!”

(as I look back on this post I see that during this “Lazy Spell” I created all the following pieces!!!

Argh. Maybe it is the Long Covid thing. I hate sitting still, but moving makes me exhausted!! Wendy Whiner on the rampage again. I must get out of myself. I get on a roll, painting my heart out, some of my best work, it’s SELLING! AND Splat! Headfirst,I dive, right into the couch. Any headwind suddenly gone without a whisper of a complaint from Miss Michelangelo… See: Loser.

It will come again, the big Wind from Winnetka…( Those of you who know, KNOW.) And man, when it comes I’m going to paint my little butt off. Before it blows right out of town again. This time I’m going to harvest that energy and run with the ball, baby!! Just wait and see. I’ll get it right this time…Peace-out.

Where I am in my Art?

“How I do struggle, with all the Angst pushing against the walls of me….”

I am Where? In my Art.

    Over here, Over there, everywhere I am, I am.

   Good ol’ Susie made some art-Where art I? Art I? Oh.

   I have never hired anyone to sit for me. My people who people my canvases are The People who people my mind. Here a people, there a people, every where a peep hole, people.

People . What a funny word, especially when you write it , many times, in the same sentence.

The same sentence.

Oh, what a sentence it will be.

“The Crowd in My Head”.digitally painted paper collage, Susan T. Martin, 2015

How I do struggle, with all the Angst pushing against the walls of me, like a giant Volcano Person.

Do you feel me? How can you? I’m over here and you are Way, Way ……..over there.

This little Ditty is entitled, “The Reckoning”. ©STMartin2011

   I loved my father, my hated father. Oh, how I love him still. He could do no wrong in my eyes. Oh, but how wrong he did. A hater of some, lover of others…my mother? I’m not sure. Sure, they loved. But did they LOVE? 

    I’m sure I did. DID WHAT? loved. Your Father? No! But, yes. But NO , not like that

   I loved him like you love the most beautiful rose-way down in the middle of the thorn bush. So beautiful, so pristine.  20210419_203149SO UNTOUCHABLE, UNREACHABLE, unlovable in his lack of love output. He was so put out, when asked for love. Not as put out as mother, though.cropped-image-4resize-flashback1.jpg

    OH NOOO! Mother was the furthest put out by an outpouring. Oh, no don’t pour it out on HER. Eww, you’re sticky, get your dirty hands OFF… Ew, you are making me HOT! ….Eww, Susan Todd, you are so HUGGY! What makes you so HUGGY?!

  You are JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER. (no, mother!) You are so DIFFERENT from YOUR BROTHER . (but, how mother?)WHERE did you COME FROM? (you, mother?) 

WIN_20170815_11_19_02_Pro
Reaching Out, acrylic on canvas, Work in Progress, Susan T. Martin 2017

Sent from Mail for Windows 10

Did they really LOVE?

Do YOU ? Really , Really ??

“Synapse Miss Fire” ©SusanTMartin2019
” Flashback #937″ (detail)©STMartin2018

Just Another Artistic Wednesday!

…big fan of Egon Schiele, and…feel a sort of kindred spirit…

Roll on Cupcake! Since this month is designation Sexual Assault Awareness Month, or SAAM, I decided yesterday to work on boosting my Art Health. So often my negative self image creeps into my work…

I am a big fan of Egon Shiele and his work, and in many aspects feel a sort of kindred spirit-especially when viewing his self-portraits. While my style does not compare to his in most aspects, I find it satisfying to bare my flaws in my art. Also, not being able to afford live models, he used someone he always had on hand, himself. I don’t know about you guys-my work has always included much introspection.

Egomania? Or just working out deep emotional questions about my own psyche, in order to understand what led me to such despair in my opinion of myself? I lean towards the latter, but recently read somewhere that all artists are egomaniacs. Surely I’m not, I’m too nice!

After careful study of my shape now that I turned ?7, I have embarked on a new eating/ exercise/living plan, as of right this minute (wiping the sugar-free-butter-free-bland old oatmeal off my little greedy face…) I know that I will feel better, like when I lost 70 pounds in 2013-2014… I had much more energy and my bones hurt so much less!!

New Life of Hope!

So, I will probably be a little (more) grouchy, but hopefully much more productive in my artistic endeavors. I have an Etsy Store open again, and some works available right this minute: Get Em’ While You Can!!!(free shipping too, whoo hoo!)

I have more of my Outrageous Jello Molds nearly finished, they will be up in my shop soon!

The JELLO MOLDS, revisited…

We will see where my new endeavors lead, but just for today, I am happy-and hopeful!!

Things Are Looking UP!!^^^^

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