Out of the Gutter Art

Author: ST Martin

  • REALIZATIONS dawn…

    The Cold Weight of Guilt

       CHAPTER 5, ORANGE BABY…

       My little “farm” now included 3 indoor kitties in 2022: Zignatious the Fluffball, Zagnut the Torti-Tabby Tom, and my nameless rescue kitten, “Orange Baby”.

        Her beautiful sister had been adopted by my Aunt, her name was Peach; she was as healthy and robust as a young cat could be…unfortunately, Orange Baby didn’t get the same bill of health. She had the gingivitis and malnutrition from their time “on the street” as orphans. She had all the hallmarks of being the runt of the litter. My heart swelled with love for the odd little tyke. It seemed like all would be well, watching all three interact, tumbling and tussling all day.

       So began a time of quiet family life…

    Zignatious Horatio Needlefingers
    AKA The Golden Fluffball

    Orange Baby after smacking Kleo the Shih Tzu in the left eye, resulting in near total blindness and a $500 vet bill…
    Frenchy, the Nature Guide
    Orange Baby in Cuteness Overload Mode
    Orange Baby in Shades of Grey Kitten

    The Pandemic Ends, New Tenant Arrives

          My isolation, and the entire populations’ came to an end, finally. Life was still tumultuous and uncertain in so many ways. Over the years I had developed a good relationship with my next door neighbors, a gruff New Yorker and her wife and daughter. Because we live in tiny mobile homes at about an arms length apart, being kind makes life more pleasant here.

      There was major familial friction in their home, however. It centered around the wife’s blood sister who had recently  become homeless, in the process  of moving in with them to sleep on their couch . This was a new wrinkle…

      

  • Orange Baby

    Orange Baby

    CHAPTER 4

    THE SAGA CONTINUES

    Morning Mindmeld c.SUSANTMARTIN2022 (sold)

         I got off track in the last chapter…  

       Too many offshoots and alleyways. Let’s move along a few years to 2020…Pandemic lock down, I’m working on Zoom with some friends. Suddenly, Donna breaks in with a plea,

    ” Would anyone like a Maine Coon kitten?”

    All the girls pipe up with ooohs! and aaahs! The idea of a warm, fuzzy kitten is SO appealing, so comforting in this lonely isolation. I was down to just one outside cat, Frenchy. She was pushing 16, Fogerty and Ollie had died the year before. In the interim, I had also lost 2 of my beloved dogs to cancer and old age. My remaining little Shih Tzu, Kleo, had become much less active as she aged. Perhaps a kitten would be a nice addition to my little homestead.

       My little “not a Maine Coon” kitten as delivered within 3 days. Super fuzzy, a golden cloud, he is a special boy. I name him Zignatious Horatio Needlefingers, and I fall in love. The new routine wasn’t too bad. One catbox, one kitten, one dog to feed and vet seemed manageable.

       Things rapidly changed. My kind heart was about to be sorely tested. Approximately one month later, I rescued a half-grown boy cat who I found crying his little heart out in my neighbors front hedges. It was after a “fireworks” holiday; he had obviously run away in the horrible onslaught of noise. My biker neighbor had been feeding him lunch meat, but he needed proper care. I bundled him into the house and he quickly became the Zag to my Zig. They were now happy playmates. But the vet bills and catboxes had now doubled.

       WHY DID I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE SAVIOR? WHAT CHARACTER DEFECT MADE ME A SUCKER FOR LOST ANIMALS?

      

       Looking back now, I understand the pattern. I had been a mother to my alcoholic, abusive husband. The caregiver for my beloved Mom during her illness- even before. She was so needy all my life, telling me she “lived through me”. Finally, being mother/ caregiver to my dear Dad. Caring for his every need as his madness progressed into a second childhood and excruciatingd death. All those years of caregiving through all those events made me feel needed, wanted, and useful. Loved.

       The convoluted and traumatic relationships and disfunction had left me with a void, a pit inside me. And I was filling it with warm, furry little bodies. Ever the caregiver, ever the mother. My self-worth depended on having people and/or pets to care for. 

       It would get worse.

  • ORANGE Baby

    ORANGE Baby

    AKA The Crazy Cat

    Chapter 3

       I didn’t want to become the “Cat Lady” of my new neighborhood. I had gotten off on the wrong foot, on day one, with an off-balance dope fiend who lived directly across the street from me. While attempting to acclimate my kitties to their new home, they had escaped the trailer, bounding joyfully through the neighborhood at 100 miles an hour.

      Oliver was a long and lanky boy of dubious Russian Blue heritage. Beautifully Grey and a little odd, he would saunter up to just about anyone. Frenchy was a lovely Calico of the clouded kind, petite, demure and a veritable hellcat when she was cornered. And then there was Fogerty…

       Fogerty deserves his own paragraph. He was a descendent of the Banyan Drive rescue crew, one of the kittens my Mom had meticulously documented in her “Book of Cats on Banyan Drive”. He was born in 1997 , brother to Munson , son of Teddy. He was very old when we arrived in Tampa. But very spry. To the point that the local Vet argued that there was no possible way he was 20 years old, even if I did have documentation.  I gave up trying to persuade him.

       So these were my three cats at my new home. Mine, in the sense that I inherited them. I promised Mom on her deathbed that I would care for her cats after she died. And I was keeping my promise. I was not capable of loving them properly at that time. My heart was too fragile to let any love in. So I fed them, watered them, and talked to them. I watched them settle in, watched them play. Even let one sit on me, now and then.

       But they weren’t allowed in my bedroom, no, that was sacred Shih Tzu territory:

        My pets, my dogs, my loves.