Tenacity… That is a good word. Grab onto something and if its what you dream of doing then hold on with both hands. You might get tossed off of your dream, or thrown off course, don’t you worry. You have GOT this!!
Blog
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Many Moons: A New One Rises
Sailor’s Delight, c. STMartin2016 
Blue Sorrow, c.STMartin2016 
Discontent, c.STMartin2016 
Revelation on the Drive #2, c.STMartin2016 There’s a Bad Moon on the Rise, all images ©STMartin Hold on Tight
This Artist is changeable, like the wind. I dance from one canvas to the next, one substrate to the next in an endless flow of ideas. To stop the flow of creativity is to stop my heart from beating. My Art from beating.
The Mania GROWS! 
“100 Must-Have Looks”(detail) 
A JOYFUL SOLD CRAB ! 
Plant Lady is Ticked!Painted Tart Pan©STMartin2018 
I love Finding these in thrift shops and yard sales, and making them rise from the ashes as new art! 
Mania Illuminata 
Mania Illuminata, sold 
Spring Hearts Jello Mold 
“Mania Illuminata” sold 
KODAK Digital Still Camera 
KODAK Digital Still Camera 
KODAK Digital Still Camera 
Many of My 3-D works from the past 6 Years…All works and images ©STMartin 
A Flashback! 
A Found Concrete Block! 
Munson, a treasured friend, mixed media by s.t. martin 
Stockings,Grocery Bags, Palm Fronds, An Ironing Board! 
Another Cement Block Creation! 
Early 3-D OUTPOURINGS ©STMartin Being bipolar causes duality of purpose in me, and in my work. SIMULTANEOUS urgings: High, Low, Sideways, Backwards; Round. And yet , somehow, a cohesive whole is made.
I AM STRONG TODAY. I AM FREE OF THE BAGGAGE OF MY PAST TODAY.
I RUN UNDER A SAILING SKY, WILD-EYED and BREATHLESS… there IS a way forward for me… I WILL FIND IT. MY ARTISTIC VISION WILL NOT BE DENIED. I AM GOING TO MAKE PUBLIC RECYCLED METAL SCULPTURE. IT WILL BE IN PARKS AND GARDENS, IT WILL CELEBRATE THIS GLORIOUS ACT OF LIVING.
Back when I was a semi-pro pool player I had a mantra, because I was a clinch player. I came back when I was down, and that can demoralize an opponent, when you can beat them. But it wasn’t about that, not for me. It was staying in the game, never quitting, never saying ‘die’.
This quote has been attributed to many, so I will attribute it to an anonymous kindred spirit:
“It’s not the dog in the fight; It’s the fight in the dog.”
I have tried to associate myself with the local metal sculptors here in St. Pete, I have offered my labor free, begged for apprenticeships, offered to be the coffee runner, the shop cleaner, the grinder… I’ve been here 4 years now, and I feel choked and thwarted.
I know I’m older, I know I’m a woman, I know I’ve got marks against me as someone with “disabilities”. BUT I’M STILL HERE, AND MY VOICE WILL BE HEARD. What I have to contribute HAS VALUE! I can work most men under the table, even in the shape I’m in. (Ok, I could work my ex-husband under the table, which isn’t sayin’ much cause he was usually loaded!! But I AM a very hard worker…)
I’m strong as an OX and twice as GOOD LOOKING!!
So, while I have been quietly seething here in Pine Bay, creating my works on canvas, on board, on paper…. Painting my recycled furniture and selling cute little cat pictures…. THERE is a SHE -TIGER here in this cage…and I have found a way out.
I am NOT giving up, I am not going anywhere, and I’m certainly NOT GOING QUIETLY!
So, whether you see me shooting across the sky on the back of a winged Andalusian Stallion, dashing past you in my ‘souped up’ Kia Soul, or building a mind-boggling , solar powered work in a local park, be forewarned…
THIS OLD DOG HAS A LOT OF FIGHT LEFT…
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New Thoughts for a New Year
The Dreaming Forest , Oil Pastel on Board, ©STMartin2021 Belief: Trust, Faith and Confidence in something or someone…an Acceptance that a statement is true or something exists
In Success: I have proven to myself, over and over again, that my work sells. That I am much better at marketing, and that with more effort I can do better still.
Dresser with Flowers from Space ©STMartin2021 In Ability: Similar to my belief in my success, but here I’m including my ability to grow in skill. I have shown that I am teachable, I can learn apply new techniques rapidly, and love the learning process. I have an open mind to new art practices.
Unhinged, Acrylic on Canvas ©STMartin2021 In Purpose: I see myself becoming more self sufficient, more confident. Growing in my pursuit of a life independent of outside aid. I see myself looking outward to helping others, a reachable goal. Purposeful sharing of my gifts.
In Vision: Understanding what I want to say in each work, what I see the outcome looking like. Embracing my inner voice, allowing her to speak about her journey. Letting that be the goal. Reaching out towards new horizons, letting my heart expand.
The Commute, Oil Pastel on canvas© STMartin2021 These are new thoughts, today. A plan. Guideposts. I need these set before me in a tangible way. Gentle reminders to stay on point, stay on the path of growth.
I climb out of the muck of the past today, put my feet on the crag. Climbing, Reaching, Learning….Living.
Documenting my journey, my successful artist’s journey.
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Gratitude Big
There aren’t many days like this, so I will hold this one really tight. With both hands. And after the day is done I will fold it up neatly and find a safe place for it in my jewelry box, where I keep my special things. Things I like to take out and hold from time to time. A favorite rock, a marble. A feather from an osprey. Or this special grateful day.
Chair. -
The Fine Art of Self-Sabotage
“me, unedited version”©STMartin2021 Rejection. Have you experienced it? Most of us have, but has it scarred you for life? And can these life-long patterns, these ‘rejection tapes’ be erased? Overcome? Re-recorded?
This is my dilemma right now. Oh, I’ve spent years ‘working on’ this and thought I had ‘overcome’ this issue in many aspects of my life. But I’m as good at fooling myself as I am at plastering on a convincing smile to hide my inner turmoil from the world. Maybe better. Its been 2 years since I had a mental health advocate I really felt safe with…and her exiting my life has Hurt. Really bad. In writing this I am feeling this all over again, and it feels like rejection.
Detail, “The Inheritance of Daughters’”©STMartin2017 Yes, I understood that people move on, it had nothing to do with me, etc. Emotionally, though? At least she warned me it was coming. What does this have to do with my art? I’ll tell you: She believed in me, and hoped the best for me. She helped me see that I could work thru the pain of my past, and that poured out of me onto my canvases. With her at my back I shared my most intimate feelings and fears surrounding the abuse I had endured. And it was with her encouragement that I proudly stood at the opening reception of my first and only solo show, “Susan T. Martin: Through the Eyes of a Survivor” at the Morean Arts Center Gallery. Granted, it was a pop up show, but it was held during Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
My SOLO SHOW AT THE MOREAN! 
SOLO SHOW: Thru the Eyes… 
…OF A SURVIVOR! 
NOW! 
“We’re All Innocent” ©STMartin2018 
“The Inheritance of Daughters’”©STM2017 
“The Water Plant”©STMartin2018 
“Flashback 937” ©STMartin2018 
“UNCHAINED, UNCUFFED”©STMartin2018 I stood next to my soul-baring canvases bravely. It was huge for a girl who only started publicly showing her work at the age of 50. Who had hidden her work in closets and boxes for 40 years. Who quit showing her art to her family as a teenager after years of , ” That’s nice, dear.” and, ” Why don’t you paint flowers?”. My experiences had allowed me to build this wall against the surety of THE BIG REJECTION. Why try? Why expose my battered pride? Why?
Detail from “Flashback 937” ©STMartin2017 So, after my big show I was fearless in sharing my work in the Art Heals show for survivors of sexual assault, My work, my voice and my story was used in advertisements for the Mental Health Facility where I received the counselling from aforementioned therapist. I was riding high, basking in the warmth of recognition.
Suddenly a worldwide pandemic came into our lives. All kinds of doubts and fears began to assault my mind. The isolation left me too deep in my own head and there were no meetings with any mental health counselors, except virtually. And those were few and far between. Finally a new therapist and I talked. We have never met in person, and in the past years we’ve spoken less than 10 times. I’m tired. I feel beaten.
And my prepped canvases leer at me, while I contemplate ripping up and burning all my old work. It’s more than my therapist leaving, it’s so much more. I have let a little woodworm of self-doubt ravage my confidence. I sit here and research the great masters, oil painting techniques, and all the formal art training I so long for; then I lay on the couch in a grey funk for days. I spent hundreds during this pandemic on entry fees for shows and now I lament not having sold anything. A great big pity party for the poor rejected artist. Sickening, isn’t it?
So, now that I have dumped all that ‘stuff’ out here on the page, maybe I can sit back and ponder it in black and white. And after I ponder, I’m going to get up and start a new day, free from it all.
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A Day of Possibility
Finding a new project is an enlightening occurrence. Feeling exhilaration and anticipation. Where will my imagination take me?
I feel new ideas stirring, a freestyle mood calling. Out of darkness comes new life, an unfurling seed, a vine of thriving, reaching thought. Fertile ‘mind soil’ feeds experimentation with color, shadow, shape… The sky expands before me: I fly!
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How Do I Always Get Here…How Do I Leave?
The Waterplant, mixed media on canvas by Susan T. Martin(sold) The torment of Immobility
Riding a wave, tall as a mountain, I rush headlong thru my day One project done, the next begun: All clarity-no haze. The transition came, I know not when(wound up on my butt again) I wandered thru today amazed: No clarity-just dazed. When does it happen/Why? I did not cause it/Did I? Now huddled under an ocean of covers, immobilized for days Not project done, not even begun Just futility-today. Where do I go to/Why? I do not cause it/Do I? I rode a wave, tall as a mountain, rushed headlong into here The vast Empty, the foreboding, feeling death is very near, The quiet is not tranquil, the peace turns into fear Will I find the will to struggle, will my vision ever clear? I would not wish this on an enemy, nor even onto me This terrible stuckness, it's inevitability Knowing it will leave doesn't help it go The pros say that will, but they don't really know I will find my meds, somehow take a few Sleep a dreamless sleep, tomorrow start anew Hope against all hope, stagnation soon will end I will be on top to ride that wave again.
Riding my wave, tall as a mountain, I run happily and play One project done, the next begun: All clarity-No haze... ©SusanTMartin2021allclarity
“Visionaria”sold -
The Ryan Licht Sang Bipolar Foundation and ME!
A Founding Artist of the Permanent Collection
Artist Susan Todd Martin with her winning entry, “Crossing the Delaware, Well Aware”/ Ryan Licht Sang Bipolar Foundation’s INSIGHTS II/ Zolla Liebermann Gallery/ 2017 
Founding Artist Susan Todd Martin with her winning piece “Spring Hearts” at Insights III(Zolla/Liebermann Gallery) 2019 
“Deep Running” ©Susan Todd Martin, winning entry/INSIGHTS IV/ Ryan Licht Sang Bipolar Foundation Due to the pandemic INSIGHTS IV was pushed forward to October 2021, again held at the Zolla Liebermann Gallery in Chicago. I wish I could have been there !!
Out of the Gutter Art 
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